Feeding time

Last night, or early this morning, what ever you would call 4am with a newborn I was laying in bed nursing Willow. Well right next to my bed is Sophia’s shadow box, her weighted teddy bear and her ashes… I couldn’t help but start to feel overwhelmed with emotions of guilt sadness and joy. I had a moment of “it’s not fair that I never got this moment with my sweet Sophia, That I will never get any of these moments with my sweet baby”.

Y’all, being a momma to 3 beautiful girls on earth and a momma to a sweet baby in heaven is hard. I would never wish this upon my worst enemy. The emotional roller coaster ride is real.

The night Willow came I was so worried something would go wrong and we would be left in the same position we were with Sophia. With empty arms and aching hearts. Her daddy was worried, even though he won’t admit it, he teared up when he held her and said “we get to bring this baby home”.

Parenting is hard, it’s even harder once you’ve lost a child and bring a new baby into this world. So for all you new mommas I love you and your doing a great job.

Love a hot mess momma❤️

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