Today has been a hard day emotionally for me. It happens like that. My sadness comes in waves like the tides, my heart acting as the moon pulling my grief in and out of my mind and heart. It’s been 391 since we said hello and goodbye to you, Sophia, and not a day goes by that I don’t think of you.
If I could have one wish granted it would be that you would have made it and been here with us. I will always love you and miss you, but some days are just harder.
I thank god I even had you for the short time I did, feeling you move in my belly, hearing your heartbeat and getting to hold you and see your sweet face. It wasn’t enough, and it wasn’t fair to you or us.
I pray other mommas never have to feel this sadness and emptiness. I pray other daddy’s never have to loose a child they never got to bond with. I pray other siblings never have to feel lost and confused because they baby they were expecting never came home.
The grief never ends, the sadness never goes away. I didn’t just loose a baby, I lost a whole future. I lost all the firsts, lasts and a wedding and grand babies. I love a whole life of watching her grow and become an adult.