You know what’s exhausting?

Being a parent! It’s exhausting all on its own… you have these small people who, let’s be honest, are like tiny drunk people. They want snacks, they throw up without warning, fall asleep eating and drinking from a bottle and cry for no reason. Add in breastfeeding, working, laundry and any other mundane task that was easy before kids and your pretty much screwed.

Everyone asks; “What’s it like to have kids?”

Well my friends, the only thing that has ever remotely prepared me for children is bartending. Yes you read that right. How did being a bartender prepare me for having kids? Well… Drunk people will at some point cry, they will pee their pants, they will fall asleep while eating/drinking and they will start a fight for no reason! Oh they will also complain about anything and everything, tell you how bored they are, ask you to change the channel on the TV every 5-10 minutes and ask for more at about the same pace.

Cutting someone off that has had enough is also like putting a 2 year old in time out. They will ask why? They will scream and yell and they may even kick and flail about on the floor.

And don’t even try to kick someone out that isn’t allowed to be there… want to talk about a toddler tantrum?

And that my friends is what it’s like to have kids…

love, a hot mess momma ❤️

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